The impression of you that I get is that you are a sensitive person but are often wary of expressing your true thoughts and emotions. I feel that you have been hurt in the past and this may be the reason for your caution - however, once you allow people to become a part of your life, i.e. by confiding in them or accepting their help or advice, you find it easier to develop a sense of trust and affinity. You have always tried your best in most of the things that you've done. You realize that you could have done better at times with certain projects but your interest simply wasn't there. You find it easy to concentrate on things that really interest you, but if someone tries to make you study a subject or project that you don't want to learn about then you tend to 'phase out'. You lost someone very special in your past and this left you with a sense of loneliness or abandonment. You still miss this person but I figure you are now coming to terms with that loss. I...
Live your life. But dont forget to dream.